Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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