she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you have to choose: penises or morals?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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