My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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