Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
