Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
