i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
