need another drink. this is the easiest way
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
