Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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