I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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