Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
