Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
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