I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
