god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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