Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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