i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Send help, water and tortillas.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
