I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
