He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
