What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
