If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
