the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
