once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
