just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
