My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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