You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
