Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
