so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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