i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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