If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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