Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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