You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
