what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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