so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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