Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
