spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
