i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
