Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Say something about gay babies.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
