i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
