your room smells of hookers.
And success
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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