Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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