Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize