This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
