Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
