is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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