i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
