you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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