no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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