when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
