Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
