ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
