Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
