Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
