when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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