I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
