that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
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He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
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I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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