i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
