i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
