i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
