that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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