Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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