How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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