it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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